Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Enough

As it turns out, my return to the working world has not been conducive to my blogging routine (no surprise for any of you, I'm sure). Honestly, these past few months it's been good for me to step back, slow down, and focus on taking it one day at a time.

My new job has been going fantastically well. I've been there almost exactly three months, and I am experiencing more and more days in which I'm not popping into my co-worker's cubicles with multiple questions. I had thought that I would love being a case manager, and so far, I'm right. I just love that I get to help people every day, in such a positive work environment. The past several months, leading up to me starting this job, I had felt more and more restless, as if I were missing something. I feel that God was preparing me then for the big changes in store for us.

Don't get me wrong, I am not without my hard days. I'll have a couple of good weeks, then randomly get hit by a wave of grief and anger that lays me low for a day or so. I'm not a 'stuffer', so I cry it out and trust that healing will come. I have a lot of disappointments in 'church', and it will take me a while before I am ready to fully engage again. Despite all that, God's grace has been abundant, and I feel His presence now more fully than over the past two years. Through His grace, I can withstand whatever He allows to come my way.

It's a bit of a miracle to me to be aware that many changes are headed our direction, but being able to trust totally that He will lead in His own timing. This September, we will be moving, Molly will be headed off to the mission field, and Gary resumes full-time student status at seminary. It's useless to ponder too heavily on what we might be doing two years from now, because what our lives will look like in four months is still a mystery. I'm not saying we're not thinking and talking about what might be, but there's a heavy blanket of peace over the whole process. God knows what lies ahead, and He'll direct us when it's time.

Meanwhile, I'll appreciate the gift of living each day, one day at a time. I'll thank God for my family, my friends, and for the deliciousness of sun on my face cooled by the gentle breeze. I know He is with me, and that is enough.

1 comment:

Stacy said...

Would you mind if I put a link to this in my blog? It pretty much is where I'm at too. Love you so much.