World Race Reflections - Abandon

January 7th, 2016, was the ten year anniversary of the start of the World Race.  It has been ten years now since we sold our house, ten years since we sold half our belongings and put the rest in storage, ten years since our steps of faith took us onto a plane and all the way around the world to serve God in new and unknown places.

Milestones are important to me, and the realization that ten years have passed has stirred up a myriad of memories.  I am planning to take some time over the next year reflecting and sharing what the trip has meant to me, now that the highs and lows of the trip have had the opportunity to mellow and marinate in the context of life back at home.

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One of the most life-changing aspects of the trip took place before we even packed our bags.

It had been easy enough to complete the online application, but when it came time to click “submit”, I hesitated. Was I actually willing to go through with something like this? If we were accepted onto the trip, could I actually walk away from my home, my church family, my friends, for a year of the unknown? I had to ask myself, “Am I willing to say YES to God, no matter what He asks of me?” 

That was my moment of abandon, and in retrospect, I realize it was a turning point in my faith. The answer was yes. It had to be yes. Yes to God. Yes to faith. Yes to the unknown. At the time, I had no idea how high the cost of that abandon would eventually be (and, thank goodness for that). But neither did I have any idea how much peace and freedom I would ultimately experience by laying down my life into God's hands. 

I look back now upon multiple wrestling matches that I had had with God, knowing what He wanted of me and trying to decide how I would respond. Those little submissions were wretchedly painful! But once the question had been answered, once and for all, the need for wrestling ended and my soul flooded with peace. That is not to say I never struggle, but the question now is, “What is God's will?', more than, “How will I respond to what I know God is asking me to do?” 

A wise Christian woman once quipped to me, “God is not looking for committed Christians; He is looking for submitted Christians.” I don't know if God loves pithy quotes, but I do know that the more of myself I entrust to Him, the more freedom and joy I find in being fully myself – the me that He created me to be.  When the hard times come (and oh, they still do), I am assured that I am standing on a firm foundation, and not only that God wants to fulfill His plans and purpose in my life, but that I can be an active part of the process.  

Enough

As it turns out, my return to the working world has not been conducive to my blogging routine (no surprise for any of you, I'm sure). Honestly, these past few months it's been good for me to step back, slow down, and focus on taking it one day at a time.

My new job has been going fantastically well. I've been there almost exactly three months, and I am experiencing more and more days in which I'm not popping into my co-worker's cubicles with multiple questions. I had thought that I would love being a case manager, and so far, I'm right. I just love that I get to help people every day, in such a positive work environment. The past several months, leading up to me starting this job, I had felt more and more restless, as if I were missing something. I feel that God was preparing me then for the big changes in store for us.

Don't get me wrong, I am not without my hard days. I'll have a couple of good weeks, then randomly get hit by a wave of grief and anger that lays me low for a day or so. I'm not a 'stuffer', so I cry it out and trust that healing will come. I have a lot of disappointments in 'church', and it will take me a while before I am ready to fully engage again. Despite all that, God's grace has been abundant, and I feel His presence now more fully than over the past two years. Through His grace, I can withstand whatever He allows to come my way.

It's a bit of a miracle to me to be aware that many changes are headed our direction, but being able to trust totally that He will lead in His own timing. This September, we will be moving, Molly will be headed off to the mission field, and Gary resumes full-time student status at seminary. It's useless to ponder too heavily on what we might be doing two years from now, because what our lives will look like in four months is still a mystery. I'm not saying we're not thinking and talking about what might be, but there's a heavy blanket of peace over the whole process. God knows what lies ahead, and He'll direct us when it's time.

Meanwhile, I'll appreciate the gift of living each day, one day at a time. I'll thank God for my family, my friends, and for the deliciousness of sun on my face cooled by the gentle breeze. I know He is with me, and that is enough.

God Loves the Predators... Could You?

A phenomenal post by World Racer Kim Daniels, about her encounter with a man in a Thai strip bar.

Kind of like something shifted in me the night we got held at gunpoint in Johannesburg, South Africa, something shifted in me the night I found myself on the rooftop in Phnom Phen, Cambodia yelling freedom over the city with my brother Matt. Most of our squad is in Cambodia working in the slums, but 8 of us are back in Bangkok, Thailand for the next 7 days... back in the bars.

The World Race ends for me on November 21st. Just when I thought I was near done... nope! We're going to pump it up a notch at the end of this thing here. No fizzling out. The word 'autopilot' means nothing.

Its hard to describe what it was like being back in the Nana Entertainment district again, except to say that I knew I need to be there. Not just last night. Not just tonight and tomorrow night. But in the future. As I sat sipping my water, God told me, "Kim, you belong in the strip bars."

He made me smirk at that one. I like it: I work for Jesus in the strip bars.

We went back to Nana for the first time since GATO left Thailand 2 months ago. I'd felt intense all day, and it culminated especially as I stepped out of the taxi and laid eyes once more on the chaos of the downtown scene. The lights. The pounding music. The men. The women. The beer. The smell...

Once I get into intense mode, it takes the jaws of life to pry me out. I wanted to just get in there. I walked fast, fiercely praying through the downtown streets, blessing little kids and speaking limbs into cripples. I tend to feel the physical weight of spiritual atmospheres; it manifests itself in extreme aches in my body, headaches, nausea, stomach issues, etc etc. Over the last couple of months I've recognized it as hell's pathetic ploy to keep me at home. So whatever. I say no to hell. "Hell, no."

Caroline, Andi, Matt S, Mark, Gretchen, Patrice and I split into smaller groups and headed into the 3 story entertainment center, which read "Nana Entertainme". The 'nt' had burnt out. Caroline, Andi and I went into a bar on the 2nd floor that was hidden behind a green curtain.

As we sat inside, drinking our waters, a random man named Lonny (that's what we'll call him) came in and sat down. After about 3 minutes of trying to hit on me, he realized that getting hit on was not what I was in this bar for and started to ask some different questions and listen to mine. We talked for about an hour.

His was a classic story: He'd come with his two friends from Australia to Thailand to 'do what the Thai people do' after his 3 year relationship with his girlfriend had ended. Basically, he was here because he was angry, felt rejected, and was in the mood to dehumanize others and make them feel worthless because he felt dehumanized and worthless himself. Behind me were Andi and Caroline, praying. Behind him were his two buddies, making out with the almost naked women.

He asked why I was in Bangkok. I said, "Those girls up there", motioning with my head and turning my eyes to the girls on the poles. He followed my gaze and looked back at me. "Those girls are somebody's sister. Somebody's mom. Somebody's daughter. No matter how they ended up here, none of them are too far gone. Basically, I want then to know that they CAN get out. And if they won't yet, I at least want to tell them that their intrinsic value has nothing to do with their outward beauty or how much men will pay to sleep with them. Most of these women have never ever heard that in their life."

He played along with that for a while, saying things to make me think he agreed. I saw that he hadn't let it hit him yet, so we kept talking. I asked him, "So, Lonny, can I ask you a question?" With his yes, I said, "If you really think all those things about the girls- how sad it is that they are doing this, and how you don't think it's right- then what are you doing here?"

He looked down at his beer bottle, smiled and nodded his head as if to say, "You caught me." He said, "I'm here with my buddies. They know I don't agree, but I didn't want to be alone, so I came. And I have a pretty screwed up life, ya know Kim. Probably nothing like your's. I've been really depressed and almost killed myself a few times. I've lost the love of my life and lots of my close friends and family have died. I've had near death experiences, and have been on and off of all kinds of drugs for years. I bet you don't know very much about that."

I smiled. "Actually, Lonny, I know about all that. Our circumstances are different and I won't ever assume to know exactly what your life has been like. But I do understand depression. I was in it deep and heavy for years, and I understand the suicidal thoughts that go along with it. I get death-- my dad died suddenly of a heart attack and I've had quite a few friends die in the war and in freak accidents. I get loosing the "love of your life", and how excruciating that can be. I've been held at gunpoint; that's a near death experience if I ever heard one. And the drugs, well, I've never done pot or coke or smoked, but I was on anti-depressants for so long that it began to alter my personality. There are whole chunks of my life that I don't remember because of those doctor prescribed drugs. But your illegal drugs and my legal ones both have the same origin: using human re-doubled efforts to feel better, or to numb pain. Neither one of those ever works."

His eyes were glued on me. He said, "What are you really doing here?"

I told him about my Hero, who said that you have to loose your life in order to find it. And so I left everything behind, gave Him my life, keep giving Him more of it, and apparently it's led me all around the world.*

He told me about his Catholic background, and how it just never really worked for him and he couldn't figure out why. I asked him if he ever felt boxed in, like there were a bunch rigid standards that he could just never live up to, a list of do's and don'ts that he was supposed to keep and always found himself missing the mark. He said yes, and so his response to it all was "Forget it. I can't measure up anyways" and concluded that he was just a bad person and that God was really angry at him.

The law had brought him death.

He told me that he hated religion. And I told him that I hate religion, too. His eyebrows raised... "Wait, I thought you are a Christian..."

"I am," I answered. "But I'm not about religion. Religion sucks the life out of me and makes me want to whither and die. I'm not about a system that tells me how to live a nice life. I'm about the God who raises the dead and still makes all things new, who is also the same God that doesn't judge me on my performance or love me with condition."

That's when he broke. I watched his eyes change. They softened and then deepened, and he looked really vulnerable all of a sudden, like someone had just exposed his child-like innocence from a facade of pseudo-man pretending to be tough and calloused.

"What do you see when you step inside of Nana, Kim?"

"I see the Matrix. We're in the Matrix. Have you seen that movie?" He nodded. "Everything we see right now is not the real world. I can touch this wall, and I'm sitting on this stool, but these tangibles are not the reality of what is really going on in this bar. I've taken the red pill, and now I'm so deep into the truth of reality that I can never go back. What I see going on here is a battle for these girls' souls, and for the men's souls, too. There are lies here, accusations, greed, depression, hopelessness, lust, all things manufactured by hell. But there is also Light, and Life, perfection and beauty, restoration, hope, truth, and freedom. What I see when I step inside of Nana is it drying up. I see it not existing. I see the whole strip-bar scene going back to hell where it came from and Nana becoming a place that reflects the Kingdom of God, on earth as it is in heaven."

His eyes kept softening. "...I want what you have. If I could have whatever this is, I'd scoop it up with both hands so quick..."

"Hey, good news then. Its for you..." I said. "Jesus is especially fond of you..."**

I saw that facade begin to whither, but then something like a black sheet dropped over head. He stood up all of a sudden and got really flustered. I was surprised at how abrupt it was... He said, "Okay, um, I don't know what this is", motioning to his chest and stomach area, "I don't know whats going on, but its really unfamiliar, and... I just need to go. I'm just going to go."

I saw the discomfort in him... I saw that he'd been stirred and it freaked him out. But I smiled, thinking Oh, boy, God met you in the bar tonight. You came for sex and left recognizing your hunger for Someone else... You're much closer than you think... "Okay" I said. "Wherever you go, look for truth. Real truth, Lonny. And don't settle until you find It."
I watched him walk away quickly, his head down, oblivious to the girls all around him. I knew that God had gotten a little too close for his comfort zone.

That's part of my dream for Thailand. It's not just for the bar girls, it's for the men here, too. That they would travel halfway around the world thinking that they'll dive deep into pleasure and ignore the pain that drives them here... but instead of meeting girls for sex in the bars, they meet God instead. Because God's Kingdom invaded the bars incognito, and they didn't even see it coming. And in the very place that they thought they'd play Jonah to keep running from Him, they crash into Him.

~~~
*Quote from Matt Snyder's mind
**"The Shack". A must read.

Faithful in the Waiting

So often, I think of my own obedience to God in terms of DOING His will, SERVING Him, ACCOMPLISHING great things for His Kingdom. And, it's just so easy to judge others by what I SEE happening in their lives.

It's in our nature, isn't it, to focus on outer things? It's why we have the cliche "to judge a book by its cover"; it's why Jesus accused the Pharisees of being "white-washed tombs".

But I've found myself in an unfamiliar season of my faith: NOT doing (at least, in my own perspective). I suppose I had a sense of anticipation for this, when I blogged this a couple months ago:

"... I sense that my role in youth ministry is going to have to be more defined and less all-encompassing than it has been in the past. I dread the moments when I am going to have to, at some point, say NO to myself, my students, and worst of all, to my husband. But I don't see a way around that if I'm going to keep myself and my marriage healthy for the long term."

As I prayerfully sought God's direction on my commitments for the year, I was more than a little confused when His overwhelmingly direct response was simply, "WAIT!".

"Wait"? What do you mean by that, God? Shouldn't I be, like, doing something for You? What exactly, am I waiting for?

But, the clarity of this instruction, and the peace that encompassed it, have subdued the questions that have sprung up within me.

So, I'm attempting to teach myself a new way of thinking. I'm reminding myself that I'm just as valuable to God even when I'm not teaching a Bible Study or planning a mission trip. (Oooh, how that irks my productivity-oriented nature!) I am seeking to diligently and patiently listen for His voice. I am making myself more available. To God, to others. I'm trying to not try so hard.

Because, to God, our hearts are even more important than our actions. And my obedience to His instruction to WAIT is more valuable right now than all the self-satisfying things I could come up with to do in His name.

Ultimately, my desire must not be for specific deeds or accomplishments in my life, but faithfulness to my Lord. Even when all He asks me to do is wait.

It's Not Theirs

Excerpted from this post by Kim Daniels, a World Racer currently on the field in Thailand:

~She sells her body to make money to feed her child.
~4 people in the church of 100 own a Bible.
~She's sick and dying of AIDS. She has been sexually abused more times than she can count. She is 7. And cares for 4 younger siblings.
~He sleeps in the train station. Starving. While there are hundreds of very edible cows wandering on the streets. But he won't dare touch one... because he believes that cow might just be his uncle, father, or friend.
~Her husband was martyred last year, leaving 40 orphans in her care. Somehow, all 41 of them survive on $10 a day.

I've seen their faces.
I've looked into their eyes.
I heard the unique tones of each voice.
I've smelled their homes.
I've slept in their rat infested rooms.
I've held them as they've wept.
I've tasted the sourness of their food.
I've laid on the dirt under the stars, holding sick, dying orphans who don't speak a word of English, falling in love with them as their bright eyes smile up at me through dark skin.

So its real to me.

And over and over again, I try to innovate new ways to help them. Because over and over again, it reverberates in me: "This is not just THEIR problem."

When a part of my body isn't functioning right, it manifests itself, sometimes through a cough, a sneeze, or weakness. When something isn't in sync with the rest of my parts, we'd say that I'm sick, and begin to do what needs to be done to get me healthy. If my lungs, stomach, or head suffer, the rest of me suffers, too....

When a part of the Body of Christ isn't functioning right, the rest of the Body suffers. When we who CAN do something do nothing, it affects everyone, even though you might not see it externally... eventually, what's going on internally will manifest on the surface.

Their conditions are not just their problem. And I'm not just talking about physical conditions. I'm talking about emotional and spiritual as well. Far too often we all walk around in a cloud of self-consumption, saturated in our present level of depression or happiness, the price of gas and the economy, our relationship issues, or any other situation we can keep our minds busy with.

And we miss the big picture. Starving children in Mozambique aren't actors in a Compassion International infomercial. They really do exist. I've held their boney frames. Women enslaved by the sex trade aren't statics. I've seen the emptiness in their eyes, and heard their unspoken cries for a Friend.

You know you're awake because you want to wake everyone else up, too.
If you don't want to, then maybe you're still sleeping.
Maybe you need to walk straight into something uncomfortable. Something you don't understand. Something that even frightens you a bit.
Until you do, the real world keeps passing you by, while you live in the Matrix.
True, waking up requires much more effort. But I promise you, its worth every tear, drop of sweat, and question that keeps you up at night.

Feeding starving orphans is not just the orphan's problem. Loving the love-starved is not just the love-starved's problem.

And waking sleeping people up is not just the sleeping people's problem.
I've decided its mine, too.

Bringing it All Home

What I'm taking home with me from this year's National Youth Worker's Convention:

Starfield song: Reign in Us

Starfield led worship for two days at the convention, and I was greatly blessed by a new song called Reign in Us. I had to buy their cd I Will Go at the convention, and have been playing it nonstop. Not only that, but Gary looked online and found lyrics and chords. So... we're learning to play it! Yay!

Oh great and mighty one, with one desire we come,
That you would reign, that you would reign in us,
We're offering up our lives, a living sacrifice,
That you would reign, that you would reign in us

Mark Yaconelli: Slow Club

During one of the general sessions, Mark talked about how his (four year old) son had invented, and was thereby president of, a 'slow club'. This club has two rules: No hurrying, and no running.

Though Mark was endlessly aggravated by the amount of time it took to get his son to pre-school in the morning, he was convicted when his son finally convinced him to join the slow club for a day. Mark was amazed at how much he was able to notice and respond to once he had slowed down his ingrained busyness.

Well, you don't need to twist my arm. I'm all about the slow club! And I often wonder what life would be like if our friends and family and neighbors joined the slow club too... I think we would be a lot less stressed out, and a lot friendlier. Any other slow clubbers out there?

Shane Claiborne: Are you a Christian?

I was blessed to have the opportunity to hear Shane speak twice over the weekend. Both times he challenged us with the passage of scripture where John the Baptist's disciples go to Jesus to ask if he is indeed the awaited Messiah. It would have been very easy for Jesus, at that time, to answer with a straightforward "Yup".

But, he didn't. He instructs them, rather, to go back to JtB and 'report what you have seen and heard'. Meaning, Jesus' actions were sufficient to define his identity.

Shane put the question to us then, "If someone asks if you are a Christian, are you able to turn the question back to them and say, 'tell me what you see'? Can we confidently say, 'Ask the poor if I'm a Christian. Ask my enemies.'"? Will our identity be confirmed by our actions? Ooh, this question gives me goosebumps.

Genesis Diez: Possible Mission Trip Opportunity


During my sojourn through the endless exhibit hall (I never made it all the way through), I encountered a friendly couple who live in Mexico and facilitate short-term teams to come work with needy kids. I've been keeping my eyes open for a good opportunity for the families in our church to serve together, and I found that this may be the perfect kind of project for us.

During the summer, the Genesis ranch in Ensenada invites orphanages to bring their kids for a one-week summer camp. Volunteers come in to help run the camp, and each volunteer is assigned one or two 'amigos' that they bond with over the course of the week. It sounds like a very relational ministry, with opportunities for all ages to participate. I hope that this, or something like this, will work out for our church for next summer.

Stone and Water: Releasing the Burden of Personal Responsibility


Probably the most important time for me during this convention was my stop in the prayer room. On the first day, I was making the mad dash to my session when I ended up in a quiet, darkened room full of prayer stations. I had the wrong room number in mind - I think God was just trying to get my attention before I went running into another session. So of course, I had to stop and pray before I moved on.

I went to a prayer station that involved a table covered with stones and a large bucket of water. The instructions stated to pick up a stone, and pray about a burden you've been carrying. When you're ready, release the stone into the water, and prayerfully release your burden unto the Lord.

Though I was feeling a significant amount of emotional weight, it took me quite a while to identify the burden that I was carrying. Finally, as I prayed, I began to see how much pressure I've been putting on myself. Pressure to do good, get it right, be a good example, save the world. I love the Lord so much, but serving Him should not bring this much stress!

I realized that I need to release the burden of my sense of personal responsibility. Not give up being responsible, but to relax and enjoy the freedom and joy available in this life. Ugh, that just feels so unspiritual to me! But being spiritual sometimes means trusting God to direct your steps. And perfect trust means no anxiety.

So, I took a breath, and let the stone slip from my hand. It sank quickly to the bottom of the water, and I stared at it for a few moments. Then, I turned around, and peacefully strolled out of the room with a smile on my face and lightness in my heart.

My Closure to the World Race

Friday afternoon, immediately after the general session at the NYWC in Sacramento, we headed to our separate 'break out' classes. I was thrilled to see that Seth Barnes of Adventures in Missions was in town to share about how "Your Students Can Start Changing the World... Now!".

I'd been looking forward to this session since I'd heard Seth was presenting: for the past three years, he's been a major influence in my life.

In 2005, Gary and I took our youth group to Tijuana for a week-long mission trip with AIM. As part of our preparation, we got a copy of Seth's devotional: "The Art of Listening Prayer". This was the first I'd even considered that prayer could include God speaking to me, and reading that book was nothing short of revolutionary for my spiritual life.

Towards the end of 2005, Adventures in Missions offered a new program called the World Race, and Gary and I felt called to participate in this year-long mission trip. During our team orientation, I finally got to meet Seth (the World Race was his vision and project), and was touched by his ability to listen and connect, even while responding to numerous demands.

When we began our trip, we encountered the various twists and turns that accompany any first time venture. I was eager to debrief and process the experience with Seth first-hand, especially the more difficult and confusing times. Unfortunately, we were not able to reunite throughout the course of the trip, and though we've had some contact over the internet, I've been hopeful to someday sit down with him and just talk.

Well, my chance finally came. Seth noticed me in the middle of his session (I think I threw him for a bit of a loop when he was trying to present!), and took the opportunity to come check in with me during a discussion section. We ended up hanging out talking after everyone left, and Gary and I were able to join Seth and his wife Karen for dinner.

It was great to catch up with him, get to know his wife, and compare stories about what God has done over the past couple years. We talked about the craziness that was the first year of the World Race, what things have evolved over the past couple years as the program has developed, what life is like for us now as well as for other racers.

I had always imagined that this conversation would bring a huge sensation of closure to my World Race experiences. And reflecting back on it now, I think it did and it didn't.

We've been home from the mission field for almost two years now, and probably the whole first year was a journey of forgiveness for the many interpersonal hurts and betrayals we experienced. The second year has been much easier, less of trying to forget the bad, more of remembering the good. We've started to see the fruit of dreams that were born during our time on the Race. I have come to a point of feeling settled in my soul about the whole experience.

So now, in God's timing, we were finally able to sit down and just talk, without any expectations on my end of having to say anything to, or hear anything in particular from Seth. We could just meet each other where we were at and appreciate God's goodness throughout some wild times. And that's a pretty good way to wrap it all up.


Gary and I leaving on the World Race in 2006

NYWC Day #1

I'm sitting in my hotel room, ready for bed and settled in after a great first day at the National Youth Workers Convention in Sacramento.

This is the 6th time Gary and I have attended this convention, and it's always surprisingly refreshing to me how safe and free I feel alongside thousands of other youth workers. So, I come here seeking not just practical training, but spiritual refreshment in the arms of Jesus. Seriously, our joint times of worship are so sweet, I can't help but look forward to heaven.

A major highlight of the day was the exhortational teaching from Bishop Sherwood Carthen on the importance of a wilderness experience in the life of a leader. He referred to Matthew 4:1, which describes Jesus being led by the Spirit into the desert. Jesus' experience there in the desert was not easy: he was extremely hungry while fasting, and the devil showed up to tempt him mercilessly.


How many times do we ourselves experience times of need or frustration, and immediately look to place blame on God or feel sorry for ourselves? Perhaps, like in the life of Jesus, God wants to allow us to experience hard things to prepare us for the ministry he has in store for us ahead. Perhaps God is saying 'wait, I have better things waiting for you, trust me'.

Those of you who know me or have been following this blog are aware that I've been struggling with these feelings of frustration - I really felt challenged during Bishop Sherwood's teaching to obey that still, small voice saying "wait", to embrace brokenness, to trust God, that He has me right where I need to be right now. Only God can work through such a provocative challenge to bring peace.

Thank you, Lord.

Miracle in Guatemala

Read this amazing post from the blog of Brian Alonzo, a current World Racer . His squad happened to work in San Pablo, Guatemala (the same community that we worked in last July on our mission trip), and they spent some time with our very own Pastor Antonio. Here's his story about what happens when we let go of our pride and listen to God:

We all leaned in with sincere faith and waited at the feet of this woman. Our eyes fixed on escaping our own thoughts, pleading with God to help her. What happened next was a first for me. What happened next, about half of my blog subscribers will write off as something unreal. I promise to never lead my readers, friends or family astray with my own agenda and will give my truest account. I will rewind in the story a few minutes...

Pastor Antonio led our team through the streets of San Pablo, Guatemala to visit homes of people who needed prayer. We walked through a wooden entryway into the back yard of a one-room house. We were greeted by a man and quickly escorted inside. I would love to be able to say I was intent on listening to God as we entered the house, but I was not. I was distracted by an incoming text message from another contact that needed an urgent reply. As we sat around the room a woman in her late fifties began talking to us. The only one able to understand was our translator Emma. I finished sending my text around the same time the woman stopped talking. That's when Emma began explaining to the group what this woman had been talking about.

It turns out she has been having issues with her right leg. For some time now she has been having severe shooting pains that have made it difficult to walk short distances. Over time the pain has increased in intensity. The group immediately gathered around her and began praying. Three minutes into prayer I lost contact with the present. Wide-awake with my eyes closed I began having a dream. Within seconds I was in another place. Surrounded by darkness I could see this lady sitting in her bed. She was talking with two individuals, who at first glance looked very American. They were warning her of a darkness coming after her. I turned my head and behind me was a dark figure with yellow eyes coming toward the bed. In a blink of an eye I was awake. Back on the floor kneeling at the foot of this woman, my teammates still engaged in prayer. It appeared as if time had not moved forward. Then the struggle began.

What did I just see? Did I just fall asleep? Did I really see this or did I just imagine it?

Then it happened. Within my own thoughts emerged a thought not my own.

"Ask her if she has been having dreams."

My first reaction to this foreign request was doubt. I made this whole thing up. This must be my own thought. Then I began feeling very uncomfortable at the thought of asking this woman is she had been having dreams.

The request began intensifying.

"ASK HER IF SHE HAS BEEN HAVING DREAMS."

My next reaction was based solely out of pride. What if I look stupid? If I'm just making this up and ask this woman about her dreams, how would that make me look? Then another thought emerged separate and foreign from my own, "So what if you look stupid. If that's all you have to lose then it's probably something you should lose anyway. Ask her if she's been having dreams." At this point I was a flood of mixed pride, doubt, fear, and confusion. The only clear thing I could grab hold of was the voice not my own. The steady request for something outside of myself. In a moment of self-absorption I was still hearing the voice of God. So I did what any other pride driven, doubt casting, fear feeling person would do when God speaks... I listened.

I quickly stopped the prayers of my team and look straight ahead to our translator.

"Can you ask her if she has been having dreams?"

Emma gave me a funny look and then began asking this woman my silly little question. The woman responded in Spanish for what seemed to be ten minutes. All of us were waiting to hear the translation. My pride, doubt, and fear had purchased front row tickets to my matinee of humiliation and the curtain was about to draw. The lady finished and then it started. Emma began translating and in moments I was in tears.

The answer to the question was, "Yes, I had a dream a few months ago, right before my leg started to hurt."

Emma then began describing the dream.

"In her dream she was visited by two Americans. They spoke with her at great length and warned her of someone who was coming to hurt her."

I was amazed!!! After she finished translating I noticed that the only difference between her dream and the vision I saw was the dark figure with yellow eyes. I told the group and Emma what I saw and immediately began piecing things together. This leg injury had more to do with a spiritual attack than just a physical ailment. At that instance we began praying again. This time all focused on praying against the darkness that was causing this pain. During this prayer a sudden peace began filling the room. I looked up and saw a smile on the woman's face. Everything was changing right before our eyes. We ended our prayers and stood in a room overtaken by joy. The pain in her leg was gone, but more important the smile on her face had returned.

I walked away from the house that afternoon humbled and confident all in the same moment. God took me to a place so completely out side of my comfort zone. I was so focused on my own outcome, I was unaware of God's little concern for my ego's well being and even less aware of his constant concern for this woman's life.

Atypically Transparent

I'm at a weird place in my faith.

I've gone to church and loved God as long as I can remember, and as an adult have chosen to actively pursue a deeper faith and a closer, more personal relationship with Him. As part of this process, I've made sincere efforts to cut things out of my life that would get in the way of that, stemming from a desire for simplicity, good stewardship, and a clear focus on things that truly matter.

I've determined not to look for satisfaction in possessions or hobbies, but to enjoy the abundant "life to the full" that Jesus talks about in John 10:10. There's an indescribably sweet sense of purpose and fulfillment that comes with the experience of God working through you. And I learned, while living out of a backpack for a year as a traveling missionary on the World Race, that no creature comfort can compare with that.

There's just one problem. The more I've tried to devote myself to serving Him, the less I've experienced this 'feeling' of abundance, or even contentment, in my life.

My theology says that God should be enough. That He IS enough. Yet, I'm having a lot of trouble reconciling that knowledge with the struggles that I'm facing. Despite my efforts to seek God and spiritual maturity, I feel like I'm missing something, and I don't even know what that thing is!

I have so many thoughts elbowing one another:

- How selfish is it to want to feel content (at peace)? Can I / should I expect that?

- Is this experience right or normal, or, where have I gone wrong?

- Why isn't God answering my questions?

- What if I AM missing something, and in my attempts to find that, make things worse?

- How can I separate loving God from loving to serve God from loving serving God? (that question made sense to me... I hope it does to you too)

Obviously, somewhere among my assumptions, expectations, and choices, I've made a wrong turn. And, like a little girl who's hit a dead end in a maze, I must now backtrack until I encounter a new path to explore.

Ultimately, I trust that God will work through this for some kind of breakthrough. And I will be oh, so much better for it. But in the meantime, I shall continue to lean on Him for strength and patience, and believe that He will fulfill Paul's prayer for the Romans in my life as well:

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

The Great Discipleship Experiment

Every Christian has their own passions and callings, and for me, discipleship is one of my 'things'.

I could point to Jesus' instruction to 'make disciples' as my text, but my passion really comes from two places - firstly, my own long-burning desire for someone to 'take me under their wing' and demonstrate an interest in my own journey of faith, and secondly, an amazement at how, when I've done this for younger girls, I've learned and grown immensely and have been filled with joy.

I try to read and think quite a bit about the discipleship process - what it means, what it looks like, what it could be in our current day American context. I have been encouraged and challenged quite a bit along the way by bloggers Seth Barnes and Mark Batterson as well as the book "Transforming Discipleship" by Greg Ogden.

During one of my late-night conversations with myself, I considered how Jesus did discipleship - living life with his disciples. Walking together, eating together, doing ministry together. In our culture it's so difficult to see people more than a couple of hours a week. Which is better than nothing, but a difficult context in which to really transform lives.

My mind turned to the empty bedroom in the back of the house and wondered if there might be someone looking for a mentor, willing to seek God together through the ups and downs of life. Though I prayed about it for months, the answer was pretty clear.

So, two weeks ago, one of our graduated high school students has taken up residence in that bedroom. We do devotions together in the morning, sing worship songs at night, and talk about anything and everything in between. We discuss books, life, ministry, the past and the future.

The goal of all this is to provide a context for discipling, or mentoring, in a way that just can't be done in that 'once a week' meeting. My prayer is that this student will see firsthand what it looks like for two imperfect people to chase after the Lord wholeheartedly, and be inspired to do so herself for a lifetime.

A Worthy Challenge

The following is an excerpt from a post by my friend 'Brother Eugene', a full-time missionary to China. It's definitely worth a read and some thought. His perspectives as a missionary to unreached peoples are worthwhile. Even if you don't read the whole thing, skim to #3 and consider the Hudson Taylor quote.

What isn't being done for the lost by Christians in the West

That is the question I want to try and answer in the next few paragraphs. My goal is to encourage you to examine yourself to see if there is not something more that love for God and your fellow man would constrain you to do in regards to reaching the lost around the world.

1. We are not becoming "all things to all men, that [we] may by all means save some". There are innumerable opportunities throughout the world, from London to Lhasa, for Christians to work and live and share the Gospel. There are opportunities for almost every kind of entreprenuer imaginable, and for every profession under heaven. But we rarely take advantage of these opportunities.

Here in Asia's Highlands, for instance, there are hundreds of completely unreached towns and cities where it would be easy for a foreigner to come in and start up some kind of business. But it just isn't happening. The opportunity is UNDENIABLY there, but the takers are so few. Out of the millions of Christians in places like America, you would think that at least a few thousand could heed the call to go to these completely unevangelized places... especially with so many opportunities available!

2. We are not willing to leave our lives of comfort and relative safety behind to help fulfill the Great Commission. Many are willing to take short-term vacations, but few are willing to decidedly take up lifetime residence in a strange country that speaks a strange language...and making that place your real home for life, in order to share the Gospel with the people there. This was the norm in ages past, when the modern missionary movement began.

The vast majority of missionaries today, even long-term workers, do not become like the people they are seeking to reach. Most of the time, we are simply not willing to give up our 'identity' as an American/Canadian/Peruvian or other nationality, in order to truly become Chinese/Malaysian/Pakistani, etc... and be able to share the Gospel in the most effective way possible. We sacrifice effectiveness and fluency in understanding the language and culture, for the comfort and security of keeping our own national identity and speech.

3. We are not willing to look at the spiritual state of the unreached people groups of the world, and make our life decisions based upon the obvious need and the clear call to "Go and Preach". All too often, we seek to justify ourselves and claim to not have been "called" to missions. But it was Hudson Taylor who said that we should rather ask God if he is calling us to stay at home. What would be the problem if we all (or even 50% of us) decided to be missionaries? Would God not provide for our needs and open doors as never before?

I am not speaking primarily of the traditional missionary model where you have to raise so much money before you can go and all you do is sit around and talk to your neighbors about Jesus. I am speaking primarily of missions following in the footsteps of the Apostle Paul. We need people who are willing to work hard and start companies, and share the Gospel everywhere that they go. If unbelievers can build companies and create successful businesses around the world, and all for personal gain, how much more should we Christians be able to do that with our hearts focused on giving glory to God and seeking and saving the lost wherever we go?

Reflections

The past month has been a whirlwind... hospital visits, our church's children's day camp, an unplanned trip down south for a funeral, then two weeks out of the country on a mission trip. I haven't really had time to think, much less process what I'm thinking! Nonetheless, this time has been so significant to me that I do want to try and sift through it.

The main theme of the past month has been, God is in control. And, just as importantly, the power of prayer. Through the ups and the downs, God has been there, helping us through by His strength.

It's strange, how as a missions team we've encountered one trial after another. Every time, God has given a way through. Whether it be airport hang-ups, illness, paralysis, or just God giving us something different than we expected, we were able to face and overcome all of our tests. Though it's been tiring to continually encounter one obstacle after another, I believe that our faith has been strengthened by seeing God answer prayer after prayer.

I had planned to spend the few weeks before the trip really preparing - studying Spanish, teaching dramas, preparing children's programs. That was all scrapped when we were called to be at the sides of our loved ones. And you know what, it's probably better that way. Instead of relying on our own pre-conceived notion of what we were going to do, we had to continually seek God and be open to His leading.

Consequently, the ministry we ended up doing was much different than what we'd initially expected. God led us to ministries of encouragement and strengthening of the church, while simultaneously giving us a crash course in spiritual warfare.

I can't imagine having gone on this trip with a different team - each person had a special and significant role in the team and in ministry. It was clear to see God working in and through each of us, and it was a joy to feel like we were a part of something so much bigger than ourselves.

It's been a dream come true to see God fulfill what's been on my heart for over two years - to equip youth to minister as well as see God working around the world. In the midst of so many answered prayers, I am now seeing even more seeds being planted for the future. I can't wait to see how these experiences will fit into the larger picture of our lives.

The Pilgrimage

Several of the South Africans I traveled with on the World Race in 2006 are now working with a South African organization called Global Challenge Expeditions. This group puts on several different world-race-like mission trips of various sorts.

They have put together a fascinating new program called The Pilgrimage, which is basically a study tour of biblical and church history, followed by opportunities to serve in places facing poverty and persecution.

Though most people probably don't have $10,000 and 6 months free time at their disposal, this trip looks like it would make a fascinating sabbatical for a pastor or professor.

Starting point: South Africa

Countries to be visited: Zambia, Ethiopia, Egypt, Israel, Turkey, Greece, Italy, Switzerland, Germany, France, England, Canada, China, Hong Kong, Cambodia, Thailand, India, Dubai and Oman

Curriculum content:

Africa

In Ethiopia, the birthplace of the early church, you will:
-Walk along the ancient church
-Read early church history
-Visit a traditional church

In Egypt, land of the ancient pyramids, you will:
-Study the leadership of Moses
-Travel the Exodus route of the Israelites
-Read through the Pentateuch
-Understand the origin and beliefs of the Muslim faith
-Prescribed reading: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, In the Name of Jesus by Henri Nouwen and Veritas module 1

The Middle East

While travelling through Israel you will:
-Be fascinated by the Scriptures in its historical context
-Start to understand the complexities of the Middle East
-Read and study the life of Jesus

In Oman you will :
-Study more Old Testament History.
-Prescribed reading: Job, 1 and 2 Kings, the Prophets, One of the gospels, Actsand Veritas module 2

Europe

You will visit the ancient ruins of Turkey and Greece and:
-Follow in the footsteps of the first apostles
-Develop a desire to have a deeper understanding of Scripture

Through, Italy, Switzerland, Germany and England, you will:
-See how God has been faithful to his church through the previous centuries
-Understand the suffering many of the early believers faced
-Commit to search and carry the truth in your own generation
-Marvel at the beautiful art, buildings and history there is to discover
-Prescribed reading: Paul, Peter, John’s letters and Veritas module 3

The Far East

Be amazed by the ancient history and culture of China and:
-Be challenged by the price fellow believers pay in their desire to follow Christ
-Be inspired by the lives of fellow Christians

In Thailand you will have the opportunity to rest.

In India, among the contrasting aromas and bright colours, you will:
-Study the main religions of the world
-Face the devastating effects of poverty
-Come to a deeper understanding of God’s heart for the poor
-Partake in a local church being planted
-Serve at an orphanage
-Prescribed reading: Revelation, Ester, Hudson Taylor, The Heavenly Man and Veritas module 4

Congratulations, Bonus!

This morning is a special occasion for our family.

Today, G-Dub's brother Bonus is getting baptized in his church down in San Diego. The Bonus became a Christian just about three years ago, after years of him seeking truth and many of us praying for him. It's been a joy to see him enjoying the peace and purpose that a relationship with God brings.

Today, he publicly affirms that relationship by being baptized. Their parents will both be in attendance to celebrate, and G-Dub has been asked to pray over him at the service. Pretty cool stuff.

Congratulations, Bonus. I'm proud to be your Sis'.

Clara's Story, Y'all!

Sabrina, Ilyn, and Clara at the Broadstreet Mission VBS in New Orleans

From Clara Farley, an eighth grade participant on the New Orleans Mission Trip:

Dear Friends and Family,

Thank y’all so much for your support, especially in prayer. This trip was one of the best experiences of my life! I have learned and grown so much; there is no way to put the feelings into words. I am just so grateful to have had the opportunity, as an eighth grader, to go and experience all the things this mission trip had to offer.

I was very pleasantly surprised from the get-go. I was expecting to feel very out of place and self-conscious the whole trip because I was one of three eighth graders out of sixty kids (that includes the teams from Chicago and Canada). But high school kids aren’t as scary as they appear, and they all turned out to be very sweet and accepting. They all really loved the Lord, and man, it is a powerful thing to have sixty kids all worshipping and serving the Lord at one time and truly meaning it.

We had wonderful leaders on the trip. Our worship leader was/is I believe an actual recording artist, and has a huge heart for youth worship. One night we did what he called an “Improv” night. He said that we could do whatever we felt we needed to to worship. If we wanted to sing, sing; if we wanted to pray, pray; if we felt we needed to fall asleep, then he said to go upstairs and fall asleep in our “Daddy’s lap”. It was totally awesome. My friends and I probably prayed for close to and hour and a half. It was amazing.

I was blessed with a wonderful ministry team of six girls and one boy. They were all really awesome; major prayer warriors. We had some great experiences together. There are so many stories that I don’t know which one to tell. A very cool story was one about learning to listen. . . .

On Thursday afternoon, before VBS began, I was exhausted. I had gotten barely over three hours of sleep the night before and I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with a bunch of rowdy kids. I was headed to the restroom, and while I was waiting, I noticed a couple sitting at the end of the hall. I felt a need to talk to them, but I ignored it.

‘He’s talking on the phone anyways,’ I thought as I tried to justify my disobedience. I turned around just as a little girl ran out of the bathroom. (She was adorable!) I smiled and then felt that urge again, that little voice telling me to talk to the couple and find out if the girl was their daughter so that I could invite her to VBS and the family to the BBQ afterwards.

I prayed, ‘No God! Please, I’m tired, I’m grumpy, and I’m the last person you want to be a witness at the moment.’ But that didn’t make me feel any better. ‘Fine’, I prayed, ‘If they’re still there when I come back, I’ll talk to them.’ I took as long as possible in the restroom. I don’t think my hands have ever had a better washing. (The ABC’s thing really works if you’re stalling for time) When I peeked my head out the door I rolled my eyes. ‘Okay, you win,’ I thought, as I saw them sitting on that bench, unmoved, ‘Here goes nothing!’

I took a deep breath, and headed down the hall. I waited politely until the man was off the phone, and then asked if the little girl who had run out ahead of me was their daughter. When they said yes, I invited her to VBS, and told them about the BBQ afterwards. They were thrilled, probably to get the kids out of their hair for a couple hours so that they could find a place to stay.

It turns out that they had driven down from Tennessee a week and a half before, thinking that they could find lots of work in New Orleans, rebuilding, painting, etc. It turns out that there was zilch work, and they had been living out of their car ever since. Well, I went and found the little girl and introduced myself, (Sabrina was her name), and found out that I had just acquired a new best friend, or a.k.a., a shadow.

She followed me everywhere, and I was shocked to see how much she reminded me of myself at that age. Down to the very way she outlined the shape she would be coloring with marker before she filled it in.( If you didn’t catch it, she was from Tennessee, and have you ever heard an eight year old girl with a Tennessee accent? It is love-at-first-sound, I assure you.)

I took every opportunity I could to find out what this girl believed. I honestly don’t remember how we got into this discussion, (my memory left me when I turned 14), but I asked her if she believed she could get to heaven through good works. She said, “Of course,” and it was then I realized why God had not moved that couple on the bench; to give me the opportunity to plant a seed in this little girl’s life.

I snagged a Bible from a friend, and kept it with me, waiting for the right opportunity. Finally, after VBS, but before the BBQ, I got her away from the group, and we started talking. I don’t remember how the conversation went (man that memory!), but I got her to pray, and I think she got it. That was one of the clearest examples I’ve seen of a spiritual battle going on inside someone.

I could tell that she understood, but something was holding her back. She prayed for forgiveness, and she seemed . . . . .well, different I guess, but there was something there that wasn’t letting go. I was really discouraged. I was thinking, ‘Man, this seed is going to die Lord. You see her parents; tattoos, cigarettes, you name it. What kind of environment is that?’

Well, unbeknownst to me, He did see them, and not only that, but at the same time I was praying with Sabrina, one of our leaders was praying with her parents. They accepted Christ whole-heartedly. When I found out, I was overjoyed! Now Sabrina could at least have parents who were attempting to live Godly lives, and could try to help her get past that last barrier. I went and congratulated them, and told them about my talk with Sabrina. They were thrilled, and said they would definitely try to keep the lines open with her.

Right before our group was about to go back to base, a couple hours later, Sabrina’s dad came up to me and said, “Thank You.” Figuring he was talking about hanging with Sabrina for the afternoon, I said, “No prob., my pleasure.” Then he looked me in the eye and said, “No, really, Thank You for everything,” Then I realized he wasn’t talking about Sabrina, but thanking me for taking that inconvenient minute out of my day to come over and talk to them. It literally changed their lives.

On the drive back to base, it hit me hard. If I had been insistent on being disobedient to God’s voice; if I had not taken that inconvenient extra minute out of my day; two adults would probably not know the Lord, and one little girl would never have the opportunity to grow up in a family where her parents loved God. I learned a valuable lesson that day. If you feel God calling you to do something, do it right away, not before it might be too late.

There are so many more amazing stories that I could tell. God is just so good, and I am overwhelmed with the love He has shown me through this trip. Before this, I really struggled reading my Bible, but now my Bible is more highlighted and tabbed than my mom’s! It is such an amazing book, and yes, I know that y’all know that, but I still can’t get over it. I find a new favorite verse every time I open it. And now prayer isn’t a wish list, but a very refreshing dialogue.

Everything I do has a new meaning. Even in ballet class, whenever I feel tired, I just imagine I’m dancing for God, and it doesn’t seem so hard anymore (and it is much easier to keep smiling). School has a new title: the mission field. It shocks me now more that ever to see the lack of love for God in my Christian school. I have a new mission, to bring that love back!!!!

Again, I can’t thank y’all enough for your support. I hope I have many more opportunities like this in my future years. But for now, I’ll just treasure the memories of this one.

Blessings,

Clara

Jeremiah 29:11-14

A Proud Leader

My time in New Orleans was really special for the way I was able to connect with our students, to laugh with, pray for, challenge, support and encourage them as they leaped out of their comfort zones to serve Christ.

Through God’s power, our team was able to:

visit people we’ve met in past trips and remind them that God is working in their lives…

provide inner city children a safe place to play, eat, and learn about God…

bless and pray for people in a variety of circumstances…

lead children to Christ for the first time…

make new friends outside of our own groups…

consider how God may be challenging us to live differently back home…

serve by painting at Bethel Colony (men’s rehab center)…

look homeless people in the eye, shake their hand and give them dignity…

serve lunch to hungry people in need…

comprehend just how lucky we are, and how much we have to be thankful for…

I firmly believe that there is no greater pleasure in all the world than to experience the privilege of God working through you to bless someone else. A close second might be the delight to see firsthand so many students experience this pleasure for the first time! What a week!

Big Prayers

I must confess, as a youth leader it is so easy to live from event to event. I'll prepare for what I'm teaching that evening, then the next day I'll take on the next thing. It's a way to keep focused, and not get overwhelmed, but the tyranny of the immediate can keep me from dreaming big.

It really hit me this week, as I came off the rush of my weekend of chaos, that though I'd been looking forward to the upcoming mission trip to New Orleans, I haven't been dreaming big enough.

Specifically, I was challenged by the thought, "If God answers all my prayers for this trip, what would that look like?"

It's so easy to let my prayers focus on basic things like safety, and raising money, and unity within the team. And don't get me wrong, those things are necessary and good. But they are not the reason we are going!

So, I invite you to join me in praying big prayers. Asking God for things that only He can do. And if He doesn't answer them all, that's ok. But the book of James says that "You do not have, because you do not ask." So, let's do our part.

Lord, I pray for transformed lives. I pray that each one of our students and leaders would be 'Jesus with skin on' to the people we meet in New Orleans. Bring us to new depths of love and compassion!

I pray that through our construction work, houses and lives would be rebuilt. I pray that fear would have no hold on us, that we would boldly share our stories of faith, and clearly explain the reason for hope we have in Christ Jesus. Help us to pray attentively, to hear and obey that 'still small voice' as You direct our steps.

I pray for new friendships that will last a lifetime. I ask that by our prayers, You would bring spiritual, emotional, and even physical healing to the hurting people that we will encounter.

Oh Jesus, I pray that many would make you Lord of their lives, and finally know the joy and freedom of a saving faith. Lord, I pray that You would redeeem the horrors of Hurricane Katrina, and through the tragedy Your children would see Your hand at work, and give You the glory You deserve.

Oh Jesus, be glorified in us. Take our eyes off of ourselves, and help us to love You more. In Jesus' name, amen.

"This Should Shock and Outrage Us"

The latest post on Seth Barnes' blog:

We have a team in Swaziland, that nation in Africa where nearly half the adult population has the AIDS virus. I received this email from Gary Black in Swaziland today and it wrecked me:

"The team found a four week-old laying on its dead mother yesterday, they kept it - we are getting it to the abandoned baby hospital Friday."

What do we do with this? That's my son's team down there. I don't know about you, but I'm outraged by a world that produces situations like this. And while that may seem like a world away to many, for my son, it's as immediate as it is heart-wrenching.

The only thing that appalls me more is that so many of us Americans who can do something about this are more interested in stuff that will only ultimately burn up in the big fire. God help us. God, help us to wake up. Help us to see how much you love the widow and the orphan. God help us to break as you are broken up over this four week-old.

God, help me to lose this tortoise shell religion that sheds these kinds of tragic situations like water. Forgive me God for not praying more. Forgive me for not emptying my bank account for your little ones. God, we have lost true religion. We have sought finer sanctuaries and better parking lots.

We have tried to fill our church pews with seekers, but we have not sought your children dying on their mother's chests. We need to see a way out of this mess that we've got ourselves in. God, help us in this 21st century mindset that we've acquired. I don't even know what else to pray.

World Vision Experience

Yesterday morning, Gary and I had the privilege of walking through the World Vision "Step Into Africa" experience at Cornerstone Church in Livermore.

The experience (totally free, by the way) is a tour of sorts through the life of a real child affected by AIDS in Africa. As you put on the headphones and step through the curtain, you take on their identity and walk in their footsteps. You see pictures of them with their family. You sit in their bed. You consider what you would do if you were faced with the same decisions, if you were treated the same way by others, if you found yourself in a similar situation. My child was Emmanuel, a young boy in Uganda, orphaned by that deadly disease.

It was interesting for me to walk through this experience after having spent time in Africa in 2006, to feel a sort of familiarity with what I saw. But for red earth under my feet, and the heavy smoke of burning trash heaps in the air, I could have actually been in a hut in East Africa.

The idea of this experience is to break past the overwhelming statistics and make the reality more personal. 1 million orphans in Kenya alone - these kind of numbers can paralyze you. But to understand Emmanuel's life, to walk in his shoes for half an hour, reminds me that even sponsoring one child will make a positive difference in the world. While there is much to be sad about, there is encouragement to see that something can be done.

Sunday evening, Gary and I will be going back, this time with a few high schoolers from our church. We are going to hear from Princess Kasune Zulu, Dr. Sam Huddleston, and a special choir. Following the service, we will walk through the experience together, then as a group purchase and assemble a few AIDS caregiver kits.

I invite you to join us for the event Sunday evening, or to check out the experience on your own any time through Wednesday.