On My Mind

So, this has turned out to be a month of not much blogging. There's been so much going on it's kind of taken back seat for a while. But not to fear, I haven't given up completely. Just to keep you in the loop, here's just a smidgen of what's been rolling around my mind:

- Hospitals and Doctors: Up until the past couple of months, I haven't spent too much time around them. Now that I am, as an advocate, I've been surprised and disappointed with my experiences. Care providers are happy to help with a symptom, but forget it if you want to discover and treat the cause. I believe I have some squeaky-wheeling in my future. Grr.


- The Shack: A work of fiction that has created such a buzz that I've tried to avoid it. Well, I wasn't able to, and now I am so glad that I finally gave in and read the thing. Once I started, I couldn't stop, and devoured the book in two days. The author creates such a fantastic word picture of a living, breathing relationship with God. I was amazed at what an encouragement I found this book to be. I'd definitely recommend it to anybody, Christian or not, especially those struggling to reconcile God's goodness with the problems and evil in the world. Excellent!


- New neighbors: Eric, the new worship leader at our church, and his wife Yvette, finally found a place of their own here in Concord. For the past six weeks, they've been living out of boxes and dealing with a lengthy commute while looking for the right place. Well, God has provided - they're moving into a house one street down from ours! It's literally a five minute walk from our front door. We are so excited to get to know one another better - what a blessing!

- Billy: I took my little doggy to the vet today for a routine vaccination and when I reviewed his records, realized that he is NINE years old! That came as a little bit of a shock to me, as we've really only spent three years with him. He wasn't a puppy when we adopted him, and we left him with my parents for a year when we went on the world race mission trip. But now, his right eye is getting cloudy, and the vet told me it's a sign of aging. What! Billy can't be getting old. No, no, no.

- The new school year: Yes, I'm excited. Nothing fires me up more than the possibilities in a new beginning. Yet, I sense that my role in youth ministry is going to have to be more defined and less all-encompassing than it has been in the past. I dread the moments when I am going to have to, at some point, say NO to myself, my students, and worst of all, to my husband. But I don't see a way around that if I'm going to keep myself and my marriage healthy for the long term.

I guess it's kind of like planting a garden - you're supposed to plant all the seeds, then uproot all but the strongest so they have room to grow. I'm gonna have to uproot some flowers in my life, and I don't like it. Nope, not one bit. I imagine you can expect many posts along this line as I try and sort things out. Along with related topics such as identity, purpose, calling, faithfulness, discernment, and the meaning of life. Argh. I suppose I thought these things would fall into place as I got older, but the more time goes by, the more complicated it seems.

Sigh. Whine. Complain.

Unbelievable. After a year of good health, I have managed to come down with my second cold in two weeks. Great. Last week I woke up with the worst sore throat I've ever had, on Thanksgiving Day no less.

Today, our day off, G-Dub and I had planned to string the house with Christmas lights, then spend time with a friend this evening. I've been looking forward to it all week, but this morning I woke up with that stuffiness and yuckiness that tells me I won't be doing very much today.

Yay, winter.

Playing Through the Pain

My friends, I am in a bad way.

This was my first week at work, but it didn't really go the way I saw it in my mind, mostly because this cold I've had for the last three weeks is still making its happy home in my lungs. Pausing to hork up a small puddle of something that resembles liquefied peas is disgusting enough at home, much less in the company of brand new coworkers.

And it gets worse. Monday, my first day on the job, I was carrying a box of stuff for my office into the church from our house next door. As I'm carrying the box, I am seized by the worst fit of coughing I have ever experienced in my life. By this point, I am convinced that I will cough hard enough to turn myself completely inside out.

But do I put down the box to get control of myself?

No, no I don't.

And so the coughing forces the muscles of my chest and arms to involuntarily bear down...hard. So when the coughing hysteria had finally subsided, my eyes red and bleary with tears, I noticed that the left side of my chest kinda hurt. I took a deep breath and immediately came to notice that it felt like someone stabbing me in the ribs with a pointy stick.

Well, that's odd, I thought to myself. And then I promptly decided to ignore it.

That was three days ago. Each day, the pain has gotten worse. It doesn't hurt all the time; only when I get into certain positions, or sleep on it, or cough, or breathe.

So now, I have this really lousy decision to make several times a day. Do I allow my body to cough and expel the greenish-yellowish goo I'm carrying around in my lungs, or do I fight the urge to cough to stave off the inevitable pain that coughing will bring? Oh, the humanity!!

So just as I was about to feel really, really sorry for myself, I read my Ever-Lovin' Wife's post about Job. Dangit, she's right, I thought. I ought to praise God for His goodness to me, not bemoan my temporary discomfort. He's brought me here to shepherd some amazing teenagers, and he's given me some amazing volunteer youth leaders to shepherd alongside. His blessings are great, and His grace is sufficient for me.

So, I'm off to bed, with a song of praise in my heart. And you know, the pain seems less now; somehow more bearable. Thank you, Lord, for your grace.

That being said, if you feel the urge to pray for my complete, immediate, and total healing, please don't let me stop you.