"This Should Shock and Outrage Us"

The latest post on Seth Barnes' blog:

We have a team in Swaziland, that nation in Africa where nearly half the adult population has the AIDS virus. I received this email from Gary Black in Swaziland today and it wrecked me:

"The team found a four week-old laying on its dead mother yesterday, they kept it - we are getting it to the abandoned baby hospital Friday."

What do we do with this? That's my son's team down there. I don't know about you, but I'm outraged by a world that produces situations like this. And while that may seem like a world away to many, for my son, it's as immediate as it is heart-wrenching.

The only thing that appalls me more is that so many of us Americans who can do something about this are more interested in stuff that will only ultimately burn up in the big fire. God help us. God, help us to wake up. Help us to see how much you love the widow and the orphan. God help us to break as you are broken up over this four week-old.

God, help me to lose this tortoise shell religion that sheds these kinds of tragic situations like water. Forgive me God for not praying more. Forgive me for not emptying my bank account for your little ones. God, we have lost true religion. We have sought finer sanctuaries and better parking lots.

We have tried to fill our church pews with seekers, but we have not sought your children dying on their mother's chests. We need to see a way out of this mess that we've got ourselves in. God, help us in this 21st century mindset that we've acquired. I don't even know what else to pray.

Youth Trip to 'Africa'

Last Sunday evening, we headed back to Cornerstone Fellowship Church in Livermore, this time with ten of our high schoolers in tow. We wanted them to hear for themselves the powerful stories of Princess Kasune Zulu and Dr. Sam Huddleston, and to be challenged to personalize the AIDS crisis by walking through the World Vision 'Step into Africa' experience.

As part of the outing, we purchased and assembled three AIDS caregiver kits. These will go to provide supplies for those in Africa caring for others with AIDS. (I can't began to tell you how proud I am that our high school small group had a higher turnout for an event about caring for people with AIDS than we did for either our theme park trip last year or our Christmas party... what does that tell you about our young people today?)







If any of you are interested in participating, the experience runs through tonight at Cornerstone in Livermore. In two weeks, they will be set up at a church in Lodi.

World Vision Experience

Yesterday morning, Gary and I had the privilege of walking through the World Vision "Step Into Africa" experience at Cornerstone Church in Livermore.

The experience (totally free, by the way) is a tour of sorts through the life of a real child affected by AIDS in Africa. As you put on the headphones and step through the curtain, you take on their identity and walk in their footsteps. You see pictures of them with their family. You sit in their bed. You consider what you would do if you were faced with the same decisions, if you were treated the same way by others, if you found yourself in a similar situation. My child was Emmanuel, a young boy in Uganda, orphaned by that deadly disease.

It was interesting for me to walk through this experience after having spent time in Africa in 2006, to feel a sort of familiarity with what I saw. But for red earth under my feet, and the heavy smoke of burning trash heaps in the air, I could have actually been in a hut in East Africa.

The idea of this experience is to break past the overwhelming statistics and make the reality more personal. 1 million orphans in Kenya alone - these kind of numbers can paralyze you. But to understand Emmanuel's life, to walk in his shoes for half an hour, reminds me that even sponsoring one child will make a positive difference in the world. While there is much to be sad about, there is encouragement to see that something can be done.

Sunday evening, Gary and I will be going back, this time with a few high schoolers from our church. We are going to hear from Princess Kasune Zulu, Dr. Sam Huddleston, and a special choir. Following the service, we will walk through the experience together, then as a group purchase and assemble a few AIDS caregiver kits.

I invite you to join us for the event Sunday evening, or to check out the experience on your own any time through Wednesday.

Milestones on my Journey

We have all had certain experiences or encounters that, though seemingly inconsequential at the time, have had a profound effect on the rest of our lives. A few of those major experiences for me have been spiritual in nature, and have shaped the core of my identity.

My mission trip to Ireland when I was 13, for example. I simply knew I was supposed to go on that trip (my first encounter with that still small voice, I think). I wasn't conscious at the time that my concept of the missionary - evangelist - "superchristian" was to be eroded away. After all, if God can work through a self-conscious 13 year old girl, He can surely use anyone!

Another profound experience for me was leading our junior high youth group through the 30 Hour Famine for the first time. Newly married, I had all kind of concepts about what I "needed" to furnish our apartment home. After going through the studies and videos provided by World Vision for the youth event, I was completely floored by how badly I'd confused my wants with my needs. God was starting to break my heart for the poor, though I didn't know yet what that meant for me.

The next 'breakthrough' moment for me came during a general seminar at the National Youth Workers Convention in 2004. These seminars are always encouraging and thought provoking, but one in particular cut right through to my heart. The speaker was Princess Kasune Zulu, a Zambian woman who spoke about the effects of AIDS in her country, and her dramatic story of how she has been affected personally.

After the seminar concluded, our group headed to lunch at the nearest Del Taco, but I was so overwhelmed I wasn't able to get out of the car. I just sat back and sobbed. God was piercing my heart, taking me to a new level of brokenness: so painful, but so undescribably right.

What I most remember Princess specifically saying was how other governments had begun to provide assistance to those in need in Africa, money for food and HIV tests and treatments. And that was all good. But, despite all of that, the church should have already been there.


The church - God's chosen means to demonstrate His love, His care, to pray for the sick, to provide for orphans and widows, the church - had missed it's call. It had fallen down. And in that moment, I cried, not just for the sick babies and widows forced into prostitution and all the horror that goes with poverty, but at the realization that when we as a church, we as individuals, do not live out the purpose God has designed us for, the world suffers. There are horrible consequences to our resistance to 'get involved'. And I was just as much a part of that as anyone.


It's funny to me, that at the time I had no overwhelming call to go to Africa, or sponsor an AIDS baby, or anything that specific. Some people are called to do those things. Others are made for a different purpose. But at that moment, a veil was lifted from my eyes, and I received a glimpse of what could be possible - what God might accomplish through His people if we were only willing. What suffering might be alleviated. What lonely people could experience love for the first time. What freedom might ring if we chose to stand up for the oppressed. What joy might resound if we loved the Lord with ALL of our might.

All that to say, I made a decision that day: I don't want to miss an opportunity; I want to fulfill my purpose. Have there been other milestones in my life, in my journey of faith? Sure. And I pray that there will be many more.

I suppose I share all this with you now, because I just learned that Princess Kasune Zulu will be sharing in a local church this Friday, and I am elated to go and see her again. God has brought me oh so far since that afternoon in the Del Taco parking lot, and I know He ain't done with me yet.

Praise God.

What are we waiting for?

A passionate, convicting plea from a Children's Cup worker in Swaziland (with my response at the bottom):

What Will it Take in 2008?

A buoyant great joy and an unspeakable sorrow both sweep through my soul as I remember 2007.

Children’s Cup grew to double the number of CarePoints and the number of children we care for (about 7000 now) whose lives we have seen Jesus change.

But how quickly other scenes ambush my heart as I look at the ones still waiting for our help.

I can tell you how it feels to watch a sobbing child’s body shut down with AIDS.

I have heard dying mothers plead for someone to care for the children she will leave behind.

I have watched orphaned children—in one case a 6 year-old girl—become the sole protector and breadwinner for her younger siblings.

I know of dozens of unwanted and unnamed toddlers who were handed off to village men to be sold for sex. If the children wanted even a morsel of food they would have to do whatever the man wanted.

I can tell you the problem is growing faster than we have the funds to respond.

I can tell you that the twin destroyers named AIDS and Hunger are measuring and defining the church—the Body of Christ—as they gallop in unrestrained apocalypse destroying families and nations.

But I can not tell you why or how so many of my fellow believers who call upon the name of Jesus for their own needs refuse to respond to the needs of a dying generation.

What can be said or done in 2008 to reach past indifference and ignite the hearts of God’s church?

The power of geography is unfathomable to me. I happened to be born here in America, with every resource available for me to grow up healthy and strong. Too many children are not so lucky.

The thing is, I know that if a child knocked at my door, if their parents had died and they needed a safe place to stay, I wouldn't hesitate to take them in. But when our doors are too far away for their little hands to reach, what then, shall we do?

What will I do? Go take care of orphans myself? Stay and send them money? Look for American children in need to take in? I don't have THE answer yet, but I believe it's coming, and as I wait, I do what I can.



Me & my little friend at the ABC ministry orphanage in Swaziland

World AIDS; Every Day...

MBABANE (AFP) - Nearly a third of Swaziland's children are considered orphaned and vulnerable as AIDS takes its toll on the country, a study commissioned by the state's emergency response council said Friday.

"There are currently 130,000 OVCs (orphaned and vulnerable children) in the country, which represents 31.1 percent of all children countrywide," the study said.

"However, it is projected that the OVC figure could rise to 200,000 by the year 2010."

It added: "HIV and AIDS is permanently altering the structure of Swazi society. It is expected that by 2025 there will be a thinning of the older age groups and the very young."

Life expectancy in the country dropped from 60 years in 1997 to the world's lowest of 31.3 in 2004, while the mortality rate has sharply increased across the entire population over the past 15 years, the report added.

According to UNICEF's website, HIV prevalence among 20 to 30-year-olds is nearing 50 percent, higher than the national adult average.

In Swaziland, close to 40 percent of adults are living with HIV and AIDS, the highest infection rate anywhere in the world, UNICEF said.

Everything Counts

As much as I think and pray about helping orphans in Africa, especially Swaziland, it surprises me sometimes how (relatively) little I blog about it. I've continued to investigate opportunities for getting involved, and thought y'all are about due for an update.

Saint's Coffee - This is a brand-new Christian-run company that was started with the primary intent of raising money for orphans in Swaziland. Each purchase feeds an orphan for a month, and the website claims that in their first five weeks of sales, they've already been able to feed 270 kids 8,100 meals! That's great!

I've now sampled three of the blends that Saint's Coffee offers on their website. The mild and medium roasts are unfortunately too subtle to stand up to my Starbucks habit, but the St. George is not bad. If you'd like to sample any of the blends, please let me know.

Christmas in Africa - Children's Cup is a ministry that feeds children in various Care Points around Southern Africa. Each year they provide a huge Christmas party for the children, and this year they are encouraging a personal connection with sponsors around the world.

What you do is order a Christmas card from Children's Cup (preprinted in Siswati or Portuguese), write a note to a child, attach a picture of you and your family (if you like), and send it back along with $6. The money will cover the cost of a Christmas gift and dinner for the child. The child will then fill out a note and send it back to you. I just ordered a bunch to do as a youth group project, and am really excited to see our students connected to African kids.

5 for 50 - This is a charity that Tom Davis talks about in his new book Red Letters (I just received a copy - haven't gotten to read it yet). Each copy purchased results in a donation that goes directly to feeding orphans. On his blog, Tom talks about how they are able to do this: all the money raised pays for shipments of donated food. Not sure this is the right thing to do? Watch some of the videos posted on his blog. Keep tissues handy.

Wherever you are, whatever place you are in life, I pray that you will respond to the tragic need. I believe that we in America have been given rich material blessings, not for our own pleasure but to partake in the joy of giving to others.

So, if you can sponsor a child, do it! If you can send a Christmas gift for $6, do it! If you believe that God answers prayer and wants to heal the brokenhearted, do it! In the kingdom of God, no gift is too small.

The Face of HIV

I just found the blog of Charles and Kristen Young, a young missionary couple Gary and I met in Swaziland last November. They are working with a great ministry called Children's Cup. Here's a recent post:

People ask me a lot, "How do you face that much sadness all the time? Doesn't it make you feel guilty? Doesn't it make you depressed? I don't think I could do it." They are right, you can't do it. Not alone. Only with God.

This week another young child at the hospital died. We had been visiting Rebecca in the hospital for months. A few weeks ago she was discharged. Then, last week, she and her mother went back. We had been visiting everyday since her readmission. It was clear that she didn't have much time left. I felt as though if I missed one day of going, I might miss her. HIV had taken over. She wasn't herself at all. Her whole personality made a drastic change. Then on Tuesday, we walked into her room to see an empty bed.

We left and went straight to her mother's house, a tiny room in a horrible neighborhood. No electricity, freezing cold, and there she was, curled up on the floor, weeping her daughters death. Mary, Zinty and I crawled onto the floor next to her, tears streaming down all of our faces, holding her and trying to comfort her. We had prayed with her and Rebecca many times before, but this was different. She needs a supernatural touch from God to get through this. She has lost 2 children now to this horrible HIV virus. Her world, as tiny as it may seem to an outsider, is all she knows and is falling apart in front of her. No one should have to watch their children suffer.

This life breaks my heart almost everyday. It rips me apart to see the suffering here. But with Christ by my side, there is no where else I would rather be right now. To hold Rebecca's mom. To pray for her. To help her in any way I can. These moments are teaching me the heart of God.

There is a song by Carrie Underwood that says,

"When life gets that much harder, it makes you that much stronger. Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned. For every tear that had to fall from my eyes. For every day I wondered how I'd get through the night. For every change life has thrown me. I'm thankful for every break in my heart, I'm grateful for every scar. Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned."

Please keep Rebecca's mother in your prayers.

My Heart Breaks

The book of James is easily my favorite in the Bible. So practical, and so challenging. Even if you haven’t studied the book, I’m sure many of you are familiar with the verse (one of my favorites) which says:

“Religion that God our Father considers pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27 NIV

Before I went on the World Race, I didn’t know quite what to make of this verse. I thought it sounded really good, but I didn’t even know of any distressed orphans. How then, could I look after any? I’ve had to accept the fact that even though orphans may not be running through the streets of Californian suburbia, that doesn’t mean I have no obligation to help them.

Unfortunately, the AIDS crisis is giving the world plenty of opportunities to show love to orphans. I just read a report by Tom Davis (who I met during world race training in Mexico) who is there now in Swaziland (which I visited last November) with his organization Children’s HopeChest. In his blog, he writes:

It’s just heart-breaking to see the numbers of widows trying to care for 8, 10, or 15 orphans in a tiny little hut with no support and no food of their own. Starting tomorrow we are beginning a carepoint from scratch. We'll start feeding the orphans in the community under a tent (the one I preached in from a video blog a few days ago), with a cast iron pot. We’re excited to get some of our programs underway in such a desperate place. We found 95 orphans living alone who hadn't eaten anything in 3 weeks.

Wow… here’s a guy who is really living out the scripture. He has chosen to do what it takes to look after orphans and widows in their distress. I can’t read his words without wishing I was back there, alongside, providing food for the hungry and hugs for the forgotten.

I deeply appreciate everything God has given me, but I HATE the fact that my comfortable life soothes me to forget the great need that exists most places in the world, rendering me useless. It’s not that I don’t want to… it’s just that without constant reminders my outrage somehow slips away. I don’t want to live like that, full of my good intentions.

I invite you to join me, to challenge me, and to hold me accountable. If we have to do some research to find a good organization to support, let’s do it. If we have to get a little ‘uncomfortable’, and step outside our borders to show love to the lonely, let’s do it.

Whatever it takes.



These pictures are of me & a couple of buddies at a carepoint in Bulembu, Swaziland (Nov 2006). I don't know their stories, only their impact on my heart.

Conflict(ed): Where Would Jesus Shop?

Have you seen the new product (red) campaign? Launched by Bono, the idea is for major companies to donate a portion of their sales of certain items for AIDS relief in Africa. A couple of nights ago, Gary and I were walking through the local mall and saw that the GAP had filled its windows with various red shirts included in the campaign.

I have to admit, I’m not sure what to make of it all. On the one hand, I appreciate that the AIDS crisis is being recognized so publicly, and that people are being encouraged to put their money where it can make a difference. I sincerely hope that this campaign will help hurting people. Plus, the shirts were pretty cool.

However, the commerciality of all this that leaves such a bad taste in my mouth… if we make supporting AIDS fashionable, what happens when the trends change? Does the fact that the new GAP shirts are (red), released just in time for Valentine’s day, mean that the campaign is timely, or exploitative?

My reading in Bonhoeffer this morning only served to stir the proverbial pot. “Take heed that ye do not your righteousness before men, to be seen of them: else ye have no reward with your Father which is in heaven.” Jesus says in Matt. 6:1. But then Jesus also says, “Let your light shine before men” in Matt. 5:16. Soooo… which category applies to shopping preferences???

I’m inclined to think that God would care most about our motives. If I wear a (red) shirt just to show the world what a great activist I am, look out! No heavenly reward for me! But if I do buy a GAP shirt with the intent to help fight AIDS in Africa, and encourage and remind others to get involved as well, that’s good, right? Right? Right?