Bringing it All Home

What I'm taking home with me from this year's National Youth Worker's Convention:

Starfield song: Reign in Us

Starfield led worship for two days at the convention, and I was greatly blessed by a new song called Reign in Us. I had to buy their cd I Will Go at the convention, and have been playing it nonstop. Not only that, but Gary looked online and found lyrics and chords. So... we're learning to play it! Yay!

Oh great and mighty one, with one desire we come,
That you would reign, that you would reign in us,
We're offering up our lives, a living sacrifice,
That you would reign, that you would reign in us

Mark Yaconelli: Slow Club

During one of the general sessions, Mark talked about how his (four year old) son had invented, and was thereby president of, a 'slow club'. This club has two rules: No hurrying, and no running.

Though Mark was endlessly aggravated by the amount of time it took to get his son to pre-school in the morning, he was convicted when his son finally convinced him to join the slow club for a day. Mark was amazed at how much he was able to notice and respond to once he had slowed down his ingrained busyness.

Well, you don't need to twist my arm. I'm all about the slow club! And I often wonder what life would be like if our friends and family and neighbors joined the slow club too... I think we would be a lot less stressed out, and a lot friendlier. Any other slow clubbers out there?

Shane Claiborne: Are you a Christian?

I was blessed to have the opportunity to hear Shane speak twice over the weekend. Both times he challenged us with the passage of scripture where John the Baptist's disciples go to Jesus to ask if he is indeed the awaited Messiah. It would have been very easy for Jesus, at that time, to answer with a straightforward "Yup".

But, he didn't. He instructs them, rather, to go back to JtB and 'report what you have seen and heard'. Meaning, Jesus' actions were sufficient to define his identity.

Shane put the question to us then, "If someone asks if you are a Christian, are you able to turn the question back to them and say, 'tell me what you see'? Can we confidently say, 'Ask the poor if I'm a Christian. Ask my enemies.'"? Will our identity be confirmed by our actions? Ooh, this question gives me goosebumps.

Genesis Diez: Possible Mission Trip Opportunity


During my sojourn through the endless exhibit hall (I never made it all the way through), I encountered a friendly couple who live in Mexico and facilitate short-term teams to come work with needy kids. I've been keeping my eyes open for a good opportunity for the families in our church to serve together, and I found that this may be the perfect kind of project for us.

During the summer, the Genesis ranch in Ensenada invites orphanages to bring their kids for a one-week summer camp. Volunteers come in to help run the camp, and each volunteer is assigned one or two 'amigos' that they bond with over the course of the week. It sounds like a very relational ministry, with opportunities for all ages to participate. I hope that this, or something like this, will work out for our church for next summer.

Stone and Water: Releasing the Burden of Personal Responsibility


Probably the most important time for me during this convention was my stop in the prayer room. On the first day, I was making the mad dash to my session when I ended up in a quiet, darkened room full of prayer stations. I had the wrong room number in mind - I think God was just trying to get my attention before I went running into another session. So of course, I had to stop and pray before I moved on.

I went to a prayer station that involved a table covered with stones and a large bucket of water. The instructions stated to pick up a stone, and pray about a burden you've been carrying. When you're ready, release the stone into the water, and prayerfully release your burden unto the Lord.

Though I was feeling a significant amount of emotional weight, it took me quite a while to identify the burden that I was carrying. Finally, as I prayed, I began to see how much pressure I've been putting on myself. Pressure to do good, get it right, be a good example, save the world. I love the Lord so much, but serving Him should not bring this much stress!

I realized that I need to release the burden of my sense of personal responsibility. Not give up being responsible, but to relax and enjoy the freedom and joy available in this life. Ugh, that just feels so unspiritual to me! But being spiritual sometimes means trusting God to direct your steps. And perfect trust means no anxiety.

So, I took a breath, and let the stone slip from my hand. It sank quickly to the bottom of the water, and I stared at it for a few moments. Then, I turned around, and peacefully strolled out of the room with a smile on my face and lightness in my heart.

My Closure to the World Race

Friday afternoon, immediately after the general session at the NYWC in Sacramento, we headed to our separate 'break out' classes. I was thrilled to see that Seth Barnes of Adventures in Missions was in town to share about how "Your Students Can Start Changing the World... Now!".

I'd been looking forward to this session since I'd heard Seth was presenting: for the past three years, he's been a major influence in my life.

In 2005, Gary and I took our youth group to Tijuana for a week-long mission trip with AIM. As part of our preparation, we got a copy of Seth's devotional: "The Art of Listening Prayer". This was the first I'd even considered that prayer could include God speaking to me, and reading that book was nothing short of revolutionary for my spiritual life.

Towards the end of 2005, Adventures in Missions offered a new program called the World Race, and Gary and I felt called to participate in this year-long mission trip. During our team orientation, I finally got to meet Seth (the World Race was his vision and project), and was touched by his ability to listen and connect, even while responding to numerous demands.

When we began our trip, we encountered the various twists and turns that accompany any first time venture. I was eager to debrief and process the experience with Seth first-hand, especially the more difficult and confusing times. Unfortunately, we were not able to reunite throughout the course of the trip, and though we've had some contact over the internet, I've been hopeful to someday sit down with him and just talk.

Well, my chance finally came. Seth noticed me in the middle of his session (I think I threw him for a bit of a loop when he was trying to present!), and took the opportunity to come check in with me during a discussion section. We ended up hanging out talking after everyone left, and Gary and I were able to join Seth and his wife Karen for dinner.

It was great to catch up with him, get to know his wife, and compare stories about what God has done over the past couple years. We talked about the craziness that was the first year of the World Race, what things have evolved over the past couple years as the program has developed, what life is like for us now as well as for other racers.

I had always imagined that this conversation would bring a huge sensation of closure to my World Race experiences. And reflecting back on it now, I think it did and it didn't.

We've been home from the mission field for almost two years now, and probably the whole first year was a journey of forgiveness for the many interpersonal hurts and betrayals we experienced. The second year has been much easier, less of trying to forget the bad, more of remembering the good. We've started to see the fruit of dreams that were born during our time on the Race. I have come to a point of feeling settled in my soul about the whole experience.

So now, in God's timing, we were finally able to sit down and just talk, without any expectations on my end of having to say anything to, or hear anything in particular from Seth. We could just meet each other where we were at and appreciate God's goodness throughout some wild times. And that's a pretty good way to wrap it all up.


Gary and I leaving on the World Race in 2006

NYWC Day #2

This is gonna be a short one, but it's all I can manage before I fall asleep tonight:

Highlights of the day:

Sleeping in

Breakout with Shane Claiborne

Talking with missionaries to Mexico in the Exhibitor Hall

General Session with Mike Pilavachi

Comedy session with Nazareth and Ron McGehee

NYWC Day #1

I'm sitting in my hotel room, ready for bed and settled in after a great first day at the National Youth Workers Convention in Sacramento.

This is the 6th time Gary and I have attended this convention, and it's always surprisingly refreshing to me how safe and free I feel alongside thousands of other youth workers. So, I come here seeking not just practical training, but spiritual refreshment in the arms of Jesus. Seriously, our joint times of worship are so sweet, I can't help but look forward to heaven.

A major highlight of the day was the exhortational teaching from Bishop Sherwood Carthen on the importance of a wilderness experience in the life of a leader. He referred to Matthew 4:1, which describes Jesus being led by the Spirit into the desert. Jesus' experience there in the desert was not easy: he was extremely hungry while fasting, and the devil showed up to tempt him mercilessly.


How many times do we ourselves experience times of need or frustration, and immediately look to place blame on God or feel sorry for ourselves? Perhaps, like in the life of Jesus, God wants to allow us to experience hard things to prepare us for the ministry he has in store for us ahead. Perhaps God is saying 'wait, I have better things waiting for you, trust me'.

Those of you who know me or have been following this blog are aware that I've been struggling with these feelings of frustration - I really felt challenged during Bishop Sherwood's teaching to obey that still, small voice saying "wait", to embrace brokenness, to trust God, that He has me right where I need to be right now. Only God can work through such a provocative challenge to bring peace.

Thank you, Lord.

Sacramento, Here We Come!

After a wonderful week-long vacation with friends in Hawaii, we're doing a quick turnaround and heading back out to spend the weekend in Sacramento for the National Youth Workers Convention.

I'll be blogging from the convention, than plan to post about the Hawaii trip once we're back home, complete with pictures.

Milestones on my Journey

We have all had certain experiences or encounters that, though seemingly inconsequential at the time, have had a profound effect on the rest of our lives. A few of those major experiences for me have been spiritual in nature, and have shaped the core of my identity.

My mission trip to Ireland when I was 13, for example. I simply knew I was supposed to go on that trip (my first encounter with that still small voice, I think). I wasn't conscious at the time that my concept of the missionary - evangelist - "superchristian" was to be eroded away. After all, if God can work through a self-conscious 13 year old girl, He can surely use anyone!

Another profound experience for me was leading our junior high youth group through the 30 Hour Famine for the first time. Newly married, I had all kind of concepts about what I "needed" to furnish our apartment home. After going through the studies and videos provided by World Vision for the youth event, I was completely floored by how badly I'd confused my wants with my needs. God was starting to break my heart for the poor, though I didn't know yet what that meant for me.

The next 'breakthrough' moment for me came during a general seminar at the National Youth Workers Convention in 2004. These seminars are always encouraging and thought provoking, but one in particular cut right through to my heart. The speaker was Princess Kasune Zulu, a Zambian woman who spoke about the effects of AIDS in her country, and her dramatic story of how she has been affected personally.

After the seminar concluded, our group headed to lunch at the nearest Del Taco, but I was so overwhelmed I wasn't able to get out of the car. I just sat back and sobbed. God was piercing my heart, taking me to a new level of brokenness: so painful, but so undescribably right.

What I most remember Princess specifically saying was how other governments had begun to provide assistance to those in need in Africa, money for food and HIV tests and treatments. And that was all good. But, despite all of that, the church should have already been there.


The church - God's chosen means to demonstrate His love, His care, to pray for the sick, to provide for orphans and widows, the church - had missed it's call. It had fallen down. And in that moment, I cried, not just for the sick babies and widows forced into prostitution and all the horror that goes with poverty, but at the realization that when we as a church, we as individuals, do not live out the purpose God has designed us for, the world suffers. There are horrible consequences to our resistance to 'get involved'. And I was just as much a part of that as anyone.


It's funny to me, that at the time I had no overwhelming call to go to Africa, or sponsor an AIDS baby, or anything that specific. Some people are called to do those things. Others are made for a different purpose. But at that moment, a veil was lifted from my eyes, and I received a glimpse of what could be possible - what God might accomplish through His people if we were only willing. What suffering might be alleviated. What lonely people could experience love for the first time. What freedom might ring if we chose to stand up for the oppressed. What joy might resound if we loved the Lord with ALL of our might.

All that to say, I made a decision that day: I don't want to miss an opportunity; I want to fulfill my purpose. Have there been other milestones in my life, in my journey of faith? Sure. And I pray that there will be many more.

I suppose I share all this with you now, because I just learned that Princess Kasune Zulu will be sharing in a local church this Friday, and I am elated to go and see her again. God has brought me oh so far since that afternoon in the Del Taco parking lot, and I know He ain't done with me yet.

Praise God.

Reflections on the Atlanta NYWC

This year, our trip to Atlanta marked the fifth time that G-Dub and I have had the privilege of attending the NYWC (Since we started in youth ministry, we’ve had to miss it twice and sorely missed it both times). It was interesting to me that this year I attended with a new perspective; the first few years I was desperate for ideas and training, this year I came with experience under my belt, but hungry for encouragement and spiritual renewal.

This need was reflected in my ‘convention highlight’ list. I didn’t attend all the seminars, and those I did attend were moderately helpful. My most memorable moments were those that made me laugh, smile and cry, and those that captured the mystery and wonder of the unique relationship we have with our Almighty God.

Here are a few standout experiences of the conference:

Critical Concerns Course with Brock Morgan and Mark Helsel: Re-thinking Traditional Youth Ministry Models - This was an in-depth seminar that led to some great conversation and laid the foundation for concepts that spanned the entire weekend. Youth ministry is a relatively new phenomenon, and it was fascinating to see how it emerged and the transitions its already undergone.

Sand Artist Joe Castillo - I had never even heard of, much less seen this incredible artistic performance in which sand is moved around on a lit table, creating moving images set to music. What a unique and stirring way to portray the Passion.




Marquis Laughlin - Marquis is a gifted performer with a unique ability to memorize and recite scripture. "Recite" is too dull a word, though, as what Marquis does is present the word of God in a way that springs to life. I've never been so enthralled with the Bible. Sunday evening, Marquis presented Genesis 12-24, all by memory. As he concluded, I couldn't believe how quickly it had gone. I had a strange conflict of emotions, impressed by Marquis' gift, sad it had concluded, wondering if the dull, boring ways we are accustomed to hearing scripture might border on the downright sinful. G-Dub and I bought a DVD to share with our youth, and had the chance to chat with Marquis for a little while. Good stuff.


Shane Claiborne - If you read Gary's post a few days ago, you know that Shane's session was the most controversial of the weekend. For whatever reason, I found Shane's reading of the sermon on the mount to be beautiful and encouraging. Of course I would love to hear about his different experiences, but instead of feeling 'ripped off', I appreciated that Shane told his story not through words but his demeanor. The way he carried himself as he walked on and off the stage. The humble and sincere tone of his voice as he read Jesus' words. The innocent joy in sharing his greatest treasure, the words of his saviour. I didn't feel preached at, but invited in.

Compassion Testimony - At the convention each year, there is always a Compassion booth encouraging attendees to sponsor a child. During one of the general sessions this year, we had the opportunity to hear from an incredible woman named Michelle who had been a Compassion child as a young girl in the Philippines. She shared her story, how she had been raised in poverty in a broken home, and really had no hope until Compassion intervened, providing her the necessities of daily living as well as the value of knowing the heavenly Father who loves her. At one point, she brought out letters she had received from her sponsor as a child, and told us through tears how she had treasured every one. It was so powerful, I can't even write this without tears coming to my eyes. I was blown away by the realization how often I underestimate the ability I have to actually change a child's future.


Worship with David Crowder - Throughout the weekend, we had the privilege of worshipping with a number of great groups, including Desperation Band, Chris Tomlin and Steve Fee. Historically, I've never clicked with the DCB live, but for whatever reason when they took the stage this weekend, I was most able to set down the burdens I've been carrying and just give them to the Lord. What a gift. There's an indescribable intensity about worshipping with thousands of other youth workers, and these times never fail to be my favorite of the convention.

Skit Guys - I've seen Tommy & Eddie perform several times now, and they never fail to make me laugh or cry with their hilarious and touching dramas. Sunday night, I was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face, easily the hardest I've laughed since hearing Ashley's bathtub story almost two years ago. Thanks, Skit Guys, for the joy you've brought into my life! I'll see you in April at Planet Wisdom!

Atlanta, here I come!

I'm so close to my trip to Atlanta, I can almost taste it!

In just a few minutes, junior higher will began converging on our home for youth group. We're doing a series on 1 & 2 Corinthians, and tonight's lesson just happens to be on sexual purity. Always an interesting topic with junior highers!

As soon as youth group ends, we will hop in the car of one of our students, and her mom will whisk us to the BART station, which will take us to SFO in time for our red-eye flight through Chicago! We should arrive in Atlanta about 9:30 tomorrow morning.

We plan on renting a car and driving out to our friend's place in Gainesville. Hopefully we'll get to take a nap, then spend the afternoon touring around and catching up. Thursday morning we head back to Atlanta for the beginning of the NATIONAL YOUTH WORKERS CONVENTION!!!! Ok, I'm a little excited.

I plan to blog from the convention so I can tell you all the exciting stuff I get to do and learn.

Stay posted!

Atlanta, here we come!

G-Dub and I had been greatly looking forward to our escape to San Diego for our 'most favoritest' event of the year, the National Youth Workers Convention. Worshipping with David Crowder, learning everything I can about youth ministry, catching up with old youth pastor friends, visiting the Bonus in his new place for the first time...

To our great astonishment, however, the San Diego convention sold out weeks in advance... oh no! We were left with two options: scrap the convention altogether, or pursue alternative options. Youth Specialties usually holds three conventions in different locations across the US, perhaps the others were not yet sold out.

Well, as you may have guessed from the subject title, we were able to get tickets to a later convention. In Atlanta! This is very, very good news, as we will be able to work in a side trip to Gainesville, home to some of my 'most favoritest' people in the world!

This will be our first time reuniting with teammate Ashley since coming home from the World Race last November. (Ashley just informed me that our other teammate Rinn will be passing through the Atlanta airport only the day before we arrive on her way to South Africa... oh, so close to a full Red Team reunion!) We will also definitely be hanging with the Jacobs', and hopefully getting a tour of Adventures in Missions.

I was so disappointed when I heard San Diego had sold out, but it seems as if God has something better in store... huzzah!