Sunday, March 2, 2008

Tears in a Bottle

If you've been paying any attention, you already know that I'm a Starbucks-loving coffee-drinker, prefer action movies to chick flicks, and that I am and forever will be a dog person. Here's my next self-revelation:

I'm a crier.

My dear husband is very supportive of me, but I'm not sure even he understands this one. I guess it's pretty unusual, even among women, to love crying as much as I do.

The best way I can describe it is as a release - when 'my heart is so full it comes out my eyes'. Strong emotions express themselves in hot tears, filling my eyes until they spill down my cheeks. Giving myself permission to feel this strongly connects me to myself, lets me know that I'm not too distracted by the monotonies of life to experience the depths of my own soul.

Literally crying to God, allowing Him to keep 'my tears in a bottle', is one of the most powerful forms of prayer I've ever experienced. I don't have to find the words to lay all of myself at His feet. What sweet peace to show Him my heart and feel His arms around me.

As much as I value this expression, I don't tend to go around crying all the time. That's why I caught even myself by surprise last Friday, when while hiking with Gary I suddenly choked up with emotion. We had planned to take a short jaunt through the hills, stretch our legs and enjoy the good weather.

We had just gotten far enough to leave the parking lot behind a distant corner, when the fullness of the experience began to hit me: crisp wind on my face, brilliant emerald green grass on the hills, the life-giving scent of clean, fresh air. Surrounded by God's creation, burdens lift away, and freedom and relief come flooding in. Within one grand moment, God shows me that He has heard me praying Psalm 23:3, and lovingly restores my soul.

Thank you, Jesus, for the healing power of the beauty of your creation.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh me too!!! I am the exact same way. I've been known to cry at But I have a hard time now sitting through a worship service without crying. My mom always did that and I remember wondering if she was crazy or what was wrong when I was a little girl. I remember her telling me that God just touched her specially through song and the true is becoming the same of me. It's a neat experience and one most people don't understand of me either. At least I'm not alone anymore!